Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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