Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
