i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I am one with the molecules
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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