I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
