just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
