He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
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