even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My penis needs a shock collar
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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