Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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