SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
