Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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