Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
