I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
