Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
