Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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