i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
