I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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