I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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