I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
