Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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