Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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