"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
