That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
