singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
