You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
