I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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