Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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