yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
