Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize
