David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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