Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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