What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you had me at cake vodka
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
