and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
