Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Randomize
