it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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