I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
