I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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