Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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