How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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