I wannas sexs uuuuu
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
