its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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