Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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