butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
