party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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