he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
