can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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