I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
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