So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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