Cold hands, warm shart.
I just threw up on my dentist
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Randomize
