That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize
