there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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