Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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