Dual....:-)
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
