There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
