I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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