i need an iv and a liver transplant
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
You were trust falling into bushes
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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