I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
