he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
