Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
