I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
