i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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