We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
