Sry I called you an 8
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
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