Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
