whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
