She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
