Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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