i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I bet he comes in French.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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