My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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