STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
